Dean Family - Victoria's Story - Year 2 - 2013
- Victoria Dean
- Nov 11, 2024
- 2 min read
I look back now and I'm sure I can paint a better picture then what it really was at the time. We moved out of the home we loved which was now filled with sorrow and grief. I was doing well at my job which made sense since I was working 60+hours a week. However, my house, much like my mind, was falling apart. It was impossible to do even the littlest of tasks. Going to certain places in town, speaking with certain people, made the daily tasks seem like an obstacle in which I did not want to endure.
It was painful. I've always felt like I was out of place in this life but now that feeling was intensified, magnified. The weight of the reality that was now my 'new normal' was being felt. It was like carrying a small heavy box the size of my heart; that pushes against your chest until you can't breathe (but much worse).
I want to note that today, I still have the exact same feeling but now I carry it like a child, nesting against my chest. I realized it was all the love I couldn't give. It was all the hope and aspirations I would never have. It was all I had left. So it's become a piece of me. A burden I am responsible for and one that only I can carry. It's the reality of my being and that's ok. I wouldn't be me without it. It's taught me what I truly value. What does the world mean to me. My family, my children, that this world needs a lot of love. We all need to stop and love more. Whatever that means to you.
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